Jailhouse Rock
'''Jailhouse Rock '''is the second episode of season four of Cult of Squid. Transcript (Episode opens at the cult dungeon with a random guard asleep as Security enters) Security: Brother Snoozy, awaken! I have captured the Feathered Friends! (SpongeBob, Patrick, Plankton, and Mr. Krabs are forced into a cell) Mr. Krabs: You’re not gonna get away with this! Security: What are you going to do? Mr. Krabs: Well I’ve heard tell of this group of resistance crabs that have come to help! Krusty Komrade Member: Uh no we’re in jail too. Got caught back in January. Mr. Krabs: Dammit! Security: I’m going to go talk with Brother Squidward about what to do with you. Brother Snoozy! Wake up, you need to stand guard! Brother Snoozy: Wait what’s going on? (Cut to Security talking with Squidward) Security: Brother Squidward, I can’t help but feel you’re hiding something from me. Squidward: Oh well in an alternate past where the cult lost I made a deal with Satan and got us a nifty new timeline where we won. Security: that's the stupidest thing ive ever heard. Squidward: Something about meeting literal Satan compels you to tell the truth a lot more often. Security: Well uh it appears we have a slight issue. Squidward: What is it? Security: Well the prison is now completely full with the addition of the Feathered Friends. Squidward: I see. Security: Yeah so uh what should we do about that? Squidward: Double the size of the prison! Security: We don’t have the funding for that. Squidward: We practically own the ocean. We can do whatever the *dolphin noises* we want! Security: I guess that’s true. Let’s go to get some more materials to build! Squidward: Yes. (Security brings some of his cult brothers to gather materials) Security: Brother Brother, will you please grab those iron bars? Brother Brother: Yeah, sure. Unnamed Cult Member: Pffff your name is Brother Brother? Brother Brother: Hey, shut up Brother Abortion! (Cut to the Feathered Friends) SpongeBob: Hey Plankton, how long until you can call Karen? Plankton: It’ll take like five more minutes for me to establish a cell connection. (Noseward walks past the cell) Noseward: Hey, what’s going on in here? Krabs: Nothing. Patrick: I thought Plankton was going to bust us out of here. (Everybody in the cell facepalms) Patrick: What. Noseward: Oh, okay then. BROTHER SNOOZY WAKE THE HELL UP! Brother Snoozy: Huh? Noseward: You’re being fired. FROM LIFE. (Noseward stabs Brother Snoozy) Plankton: That was a very strange turn of events. Noseward: Good pun, eh? SpongeBob: No. Noseward: I’ll be standing guard here and on my watch, you won’t escape ever. Krabs: Oh come on. Noseward: If you try to escape I’ll cripple you! Plankton: No not again! Noseward: Good. Good. (Cut to Security and the cult brothers bringing supplies to Squidward’s throne room) Squidward: Why did you bring the supplies in here? Go build! Security: Alright fine. (The cult begins to extend the jail) SpongeBob: Hey, what are you guys doing? Security: (uses pickaxe to break through old tile wall) adding more jail cells! Patrick: (has idea) hey, why don’t you guys uhhhhhhhhh make it into a trophy room? Noseward: Woah, that’s genius! Security: Hey Noseward, where is a Brother Snoozy? Noseward: Uhhhh he went to take a nap. Security: Ah, alright. Noseward: Yep. Krabs: Yeah, that’s EXACTLY what happened. Security: Shut up naive! Noseward: Yeah, do that. Brother Brother: Hey guys, do you want us to drill a hole and blow some dynamite in it? Security: Yeah, whatever. I need a milkshake. Noseward: I can whip one up! Plankton: Wait how, you have no arms. (The dynamite blows up and everybody drops to the floor; Squidward comes downstairs) Squidward: What was THAT?! Everybody: Nothing! Squidward: HEY WHERE DID THIS HOLE COME FROM?! (Noseward and Patrick point at Brother Brother) Brother Brother: Security told me to do it! Security: That is true, I did tell him to do it. Brother Brother: Wait you’re actually taking the blame for me? Security: Yeah. Brother Brother: Why? Squidward: GUYS SHUT UP! INSTALL A SWIMMING POOL DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY! (Squidward walks back upstairs) Security: Brother Brother, you are a good friend to me. Probably my only one. . Brother Brother: Thanks, that means a lot actually. Let’s install this swimming pool! SpongeBob: Can we help? Noseward: No, shut up prisoner. (Episode closes with the cult members installing a very cool underground swimming pool) Category:Episodes Category:Cult of Squid Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2019 Category:2019 Episodes Category:2019 Transcripts Category:Episodes written by Purple133